Saying Thank You...

I was raised in the deep south where manners were ingrained into our tiny little heads from the time we could utter sounds that vaguely resembled fragments of words. No ma'am, yes ma'am, no sir, yes sir, please, thank you or any combination of these such as yes, please or thank you ma'am were as common to our speech as saying howdy to people in passing or shaking the preachers hand on Sunday morning. There were just some things you did no matter what. It's the way I was raised, the way my mother was raised, and her mother before her, and her mother before her, and well, you get the picture.

A big part of "proper manners" was saying thank you. Even if it wasn't something I was particularly thankful for, I was told to always thank someone if they gave me something or do something for me. I was taught it's not the gift that counts, it's the idea behind the gift. If someone takes time out of their life to think of me, the right thing to do is say thank you. The idea of giving thanks is pretty basic... a gift is given, acknowledgement is made (recipient has been made aware of gift and giver's identity) and thanks is given typically in the form of a hug and/or handshake along with a very sincere and heartfelt ”thank you!”. End of story. Or so I thought.

A couple of years ago, I made a major faux pas in giving thanks and was only recently made aware of just how big of a mistake it was viewed by some. In all honesty, I'm still not sure WHY exactly it was a big deal, although I am trying. It all started when Mr. Rambling surprised me by asking me to be his wife. The question was popped, the answer was given (yes!) and plans were made. Things were moving along nicely when another surprise popped up. A surprise bridal shower!

My daughter, who also happened to be my matron-of-honor, drove in from Arkansas and my sister drove down from our hometown in the Florida panhandle. On the day of the shower, I found myself surrounded by family and friends, both new and old. The women who meant the most to me at that time in my life were there to share in the celebration. We played games, talked and had a blast. I was also lucky enough to receive several wonderful gifts...many of them gift cards for some of my favorite stores along with some very nice items for our new home. I was on top of the world and couldn’t believe how very lucky I was to be so blessed. I personally thanked every single person for being there and for the gifts I had received. I posted about the event on FaceBook and thanked everyone again for all of the amazing gifts but more importantly for simply being there for me and showing me how very blessed I was and still am. I felt really good about it...until about a year later.

You see, I'm not a "thank you card" person. Now let me clarify here and say I always say thank you...I just don't send thank you cards.  I never send cards because I much prefer to call someone and thank them personally, or if they are there when I receive the gift, then hug them and tell them right then and there how much it meant to me that they thought of me. For the bridal shower I decided a special occasion deserved special thanks so I purchased thank you cards and sent them out....or so I thought!

You see, the thank you cards for the bridal shower gifts got filled out, put in envelopes and even addressed...they just never made it to the mail box. Somehow, even though I had filled them out and set them to the side and thought I had mailed them, I came across them again a few weeks ago in a box of odds and ends from the wedding. When I remarked to a friend about it and what had happened, I had expected something along the lines of “well at least you found them so better late than never” or “it's been so long now you might as well just forget about it...besides you already thanked everyone personally anyway when you got the stuff”. What I got was “What do you mean you never sent them out?!”.

I explained again and then spent the next forty-five minutes listening to what an incredibly horrible faux pas this was. She even went so far as to point out that some of the things I have been “excluded” from over the past year were not just little oversights as I felt but were actually me being deliberately dismissed from my group of friends. Now I'm not sure about that since I would like to think it would take something more than that to be "ousted" from a group a group of friends but it did make me stop and think about how things like this are viewed by different people. I even spent way more time than I should have searching the internet for “thank you card” etiquette...and trust me, there's a LOT of it out there!

So...how do you feel on this subject? Are thank you cards really that important and do you see the person NOT sending one in a more negative light. Even if the person thanked you personally and sincerely for your thoughtfulness, do you still feel slighted if you don't receive a Thank You card? If so, why?

As for my thank you cards, I am not going to mail them at this point. The wedding and Bridal Shower were almost a year and a half ago and to me, sending them at this point would be just a little weird. What would you do if you were in this situation? I'm very interested to see what you have to say so please leave a comment or you can email me at ramblings.of.a.crazy.woman.4u@yahoo.com and tell me how you would handle this situation. I look forward to hearing from you!

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Your feedback is always welcomed, encouraged and appreciated! Much love and peace to all!